It's strange to feel that I am stuck, but drifting. Often I feel like I am powerless to control myself. I know things happen in life and that one can never quite completely be in control of one's life. At least, though, one could possibly have some control over oneself.

I feel like I'm drifting away from most of the things and elements in life that have been meaningful and life-giving to me. I feel like all the urgent and demanding things that happen every day eclipse the will to push towards the things that last a lifetime. I've often felt a lack of motivation over the years. Now it just seems to be a lack of will.

I'm tired. Tired of school. Tired of trying. Tired of fighting myself to get simple things done. Tired of being so stuck, so unwilling.

What will it take to change? I don't know. I just know that being me kinda sucks right now.